Its been a while, hasn’t it? Longer than most of my absences (that might not be strictly accurate, but that is how it seems to me).
A lot has happened since my last post – the creme brulee got eaten (in minutes, of course), new restaurants (some amazing, some average) were discovered on our foraging expeditions, I helped a friend set up a bakery (such fun!!), met some amazing people, made new friends, was introduced to Diego Rivera’s work (thanks Abi!), and then, at the end of it all, got terribly homesick and headed back to India for (what was initially supposed to be) a short vacation.
One week of pure, unadulterated joy. I don’t think I’d ever felt as peaceful in my home town as I did that week.
Quiet cups of tea on the verandah with my mother (birds chirping, sun shining, flowers blooming), long conversations with my father about a million things, meals cooked, and eaten together at the same table I’d sat down to ever since I can remember (have you ever been attached to a piece of furniture? I love that table), time spent with my very favorite baby cousin (who, it turned out, wasn’t such a baby anymore; it has, after all been almost two years since I was home) and my extended family, time spent with old friends (and new)…
(and somewhere in the grey background, hospital visits for a million tests – all routine of course, not that I gave it another thought)
Only it turned out, I was wrong, and it wasn’t routine. At all.
It’s somewhere between Christmas and new year’s eve, we’re all crammed into a small room; I’m there, of course, my parents and their closest friends (closer than family). They’re both doctors (as well), and its his office that we are at when they tell me I have cancer.
That is all.
Are you wondering what happened after that?
Well, in the minute that followed, I found it a little hard to breathe, then that ever-so-practical voice (which always deserts me when I’m shopping) told me to stop being an ass.
It’s a bit of an anticlimax, no? I’m sorry..
Two surgeries, endless tests, five sessions of chemotherapy, a short fun haircut (which lasted all of 4 weeks) followed by a very giggly session where my husband shaved my head, and approximately a million books later – here I am
I’ve realized what a lucky lucky person I am… Here’s how I see it
-I have a curable disease and the means to have it treated.
-I have a husband and parents that I love more than life itself (and have done nothing to deserve – but then, I did tell you about being lucky)
-A (truly magical) grandmother, without whom I could not have got through this.
-The best friends a person could ever ask for (again, such luck!)
-For years I’ve been trying to get my metabolism to sit up and take notice. Now, thanks to the cancer drugs, I’m in what medical folks call a hyper catabolic state – roughly translates as eat-6-large-meals-and-twice-as-many-snacks-and-still-stay-healthy-state (how great is that???)
-Its going to be mango season and I’ll be in India!!(and I plan one sneaking a few, just don’t tell my doctors)
It’s been almost three months now – 3 months of staying at home (I’m neither allowed out nor meet people), and in any case, since my chemo sessions are less than two weeks apart (instead of the usual 3 weeks to a month, and this rankles-because I keep hearing about all these other people that get back to work hours after chemotherapy, but that just me being a brat) , I can’t really sit up for days.. The way I see it, I finally get to catch up on all that sleep I lost (no more 4 hour nights!!)..
I’m hoping to be back in the U.S.A sometime in May (because that is home as well now).
And guess what? Remember how I was talking about how lucky I feel? To cinch matters, I found out yesterday (after months of exhausting search-thanks Raghu) that we’re moving to a beautiful apartment in one of downtown Manhattan’s most fun neighborhoods with a huge kitchen (no, really, its 20 feet long!!) and a Viking range!!!
Now, if that isn’t something to look forward to, tell me what is!!
To my list of why I’m lucky, I’d like to add this :
- I have the most amazing readers!! Thank you so much, everyone, for the comments, the facebook messages, email messages and everything! And the post has only been up a couple of hours! You make my life that much better. Truly.